Chapter nine summaries ENG 93

Most of us are naturally inclined to be either more direct or indirect, so we tend to overuse one set of skills and neglect the other. Consider the four influence strategies described below. Determine which ones you use most often and which you tend to avoid. Indirect Communication Skills Observe and Wait. Careful observation can provide information about emotional reactions, interpersonal conflicts, political alliances, and power shifts. In a meeting, monitoring topic changes and interpersonal undercurrents may reveal the perfect moment to make your point. Accurate and timely observations are essential to the influence process, since they enable you to select the most effective communication strategy for each situation. However, any strength carried to an extreme becomes a weakness. Too much waiting and observing will only convince others that you have nothing to say. Ask and Listen: Successful consultants, counselors, and salespeople are masters of asking and listening. They understand that the more you know about another person, the more influential and helpful you can be. Artful questioning can help you fully understand others’ concerns, problems, values, or opinions. Of course, asking questions is a pointless exercise unless you plan to listen to the answer. Think about your own conversations. When someone is speaking, do you really listen or are you mentally rehearsing your reply? Effective listening means being fully focused on the other person. Too many questions can feel like an interrogation. And if you only listen, without ever sharing your own opinions, people may suspect that you have something to hide. Direct Communication Skills Persuade and Convince. To convince others, you must be willing to speak up and demonstrate confidence in your idea, product, or opinion. You also have to know your audience. Consider their goals, background, experiences, needs, and fears, then shape your communication accordingly. To hold their interest, get them actively involved in the discussion. And remember that persuasion occurs not only through words, but also through tone, posture, and expression. So generate some excitement about your proposal. To maximize your ability to influence, you need to equip your communication toolbox with both direct and indirect skills. You must be able to make conscious choices about your behavior and not be blindly driven by your natural habits. So look for role models and practice the skills that are less comfortable for you. Developing any ability takes time and practice, so be patient with yourself and don’t give up.